Transformations
Words and Photos © Hannah Mittelstaedt
“I was once walking in Plymouth, and someone just started screaming faggot at me. ‘Fucking run faggot,
or I’m going to stab you faggot’, and they just started chasing me. But it’s mostly people in cars. They have
a confidence when you’re at a crossroads and have to stand there, and they’re driving by,
and I feel like they say stuff they may not necessarily say normally.”-Avery
We’re at the beginning of a momentous transformation for those who are trans or nonbinary, similar to the points in time when women started to gain equality with men or when gay people began to come out from the shadows. This has caused trans rights to become a moral panic for some, a welcome development for others.
Through portraits of trans and gender-diverse people in natural settings, this series conveys a sense of connection to one's true self and reinforces that trans people are as natural as anyone and should be accepted as such.
This is a critical issue as trans people are being politicized. There is undoubtedly more visibility of trans people, but this doesn’t necessarily correlate with a safer world for them. There is growing vitriol aimed at the trans community and they have become a culture war issue in many countries.
“In the 11 years I’ve been transitioning, I have seen a level of acceptance by society change for the worse in just the last 5 years. There has been positive change for sure, but unfortunately, the bad seems to outweigh the good right now.”-Jae
Families in America have fled their homes over worries their state will remove their trans child from their custody—these gender refugees must uproot their lives, leaving their homes, schools, and support systems behind. This is a result of only a few of the new anti-trans bills that are being proposed constantly in the US.
These intimate portraits invite viewers to connect to the subjects and push back at the culture denigrating them. Trans people are one of the most marginalized groups in society, and some politicians are trying to win points by vilifying them. They have been the target of a relentless stream of new bills banning trans-affirming healthcare and access to public bathrooms.
This is a pivotal time in trans rights and a crucial time for engagement and documentation. Through this series of photographs and interviews, I wanted to document what I think will be viewed as a historic period. People will look back at us in our current present and will marvel at the bravery and resolve trans people showed to be exactly who they were and are.
1. Champo feels more at home in their body now than ever. “In recent years, I have been able to confidently present as queer through my clothes, haircuts, facial hair and overall physicality. This has brought me so much peace. I feel most at home in my body during summer months, when I spend hours on end outdoors living a more active life.”
4. O is open about their identity online, but it “breaks my heart to see how often people use us as pawns to generate vitriol. I had a tiktok get reposted by libsoftiktok and the comments were horrific. Progress is not linear, but I often look to the trans folks of the past with awe and wonder. I can only hope that those who come after me will feel the same.”
7. Tatania has “never been able to be ‘out’ at work. I struggle with the assumed binary of the workplace. As proud as I am about my trans-ness, the idea of explaining my preferred pronouns in the workplace frightens me. If there’s one thing I can’t afford as a trans person, it’s losing my job; due to stigma I don’t feel comfortable to be myself at work.”
10. Ollie feels at home in her body most days. “Wearing more feminine clothes helps me see my body in a new light and feel more comfortable. Feminine clothing has always made me feel at home in my body, for how it can help my more masculine features disappear.”
13. Fork, pictured here with Sebastian, his boyfriend at the time who is also trans, feels “incredibly grateful that the only hate I have gotten for being trans was receiving dirty looks in bathrooms. It's horrifying to see all the anti-trans policies around currently; I wish we could all live safely and happily without being banned from bathrooms or sports because of our birth sex.”
16. Daniil identifies as gender nonconforming and is working on letting go of arbitrary standards set by society. “I used to treat my body like a prison, but now I see it as a reflection of my mental state.” They feel most at home in their body when they “don't bother defining myself and instead just let my voice fly.”
2. Daya finds comfort in the resistance of other trans and marginalized people. “To those on the frontlines and those on the down low. Trans people are love and loved, and we are natural as nature, and we will be, grow and connect in the face of adversity-no matter what. I am proud to be loud, MAD, disabled, Queer, Polamourous and Trans!”
5. Jae faces “racism and transphobia from both the cisgender heterosexual community as well as the queer community.” He is cognisant that visibility doesn’t necessarily mean acceptance. “In the 11 years I’ve been transitioning, I have seen a level of acceptance by society change for the worse in just the last 5 years. There has been positive change for sure, but unfortunately, the bad seems to outweigh the good right now.”
8. Being nonbinary in a very binary world has led to a “constant feeling of otherness” for Iz. “People don’t really know where to put me. ‘Are you a boy? or a girl? I don’t really know. You’re kind of different to all of us.’”
11. Merle finds the rise in anti-trans policy “really scary and disappointing. I remember feeling when I was younger like there was progress being made, and there still is, but in today’s political climate I can no longer hold onto the feeling that I have a steady progression towards a brighter future. I think the rise in violence and fear towards queer and trans people, fascism and hatred are growing at the moment, and it means that we need to be brave and support each other.”
14. For Anshul, leaving India for Britain “allowed me to express myself more freely, in the clothes I wear and small gestures and behaviours that were previously deemed too feminine and repressed.” She finds being able to live openly “more liberating now than ever before” and that hearing statements from former British Prime Minister Rishi Sunak, who is of South Asian descent, “was a bittersweet touch of irony to my journey.”
17. For Abi, having legislators pass laws denying trans minors puberty blockers has left them “pretty distraught. Especially when it’s clear they’re using faulty science to support their hateful policies. And I hate to think how [bans on trans-affirming care] could spread to trans adults too. It’s hard to know where to put your hope.”
3. Cory can easily recall the discrimination he’s faced for being trans. “My three sisters refused to use my pronouns and name for 7 years, I was bullied at work for being trans many times, I’ve had people ask what's in my trousers multiple times, and even had people stop talking to me because they found out I was trans. In the bathroom, there is always someone whispering about ‘why is this person in here.’” He feels the anti-trans hate from politicians is ridiculous. “The UK and US governments know we are here to slay, so they are throwing us under the bus.”
6. Parker feels kind of at home in his body. He says, “I do feel more at home than in the past, and it's because I have supportive people around me to help me through bad days. I feel most at home in my body when I'm acting on stage or in my room with my partner.
9. Avery can easily list the transphobia she’s faced, “I’ve had people harassing me, and I think the worst I’ve had are death threats, and my family weren’t very nice about it, and just people in public yelling. Especially earlier transition, that was when it was worse. I seem to get by pretty okay nowadays. I was once walking in Plymouth, and someone just started screaming faggot at me. ‘Fucking run faggot, or I’m going to stab you faggot’, and they just started chasing me. But it’s mostly people in cars. They have a confidence when you’re at a crossroads and have to stand there, and they’re driving by, and I feel like they say stuff they may not necessarily say normally.”
12. For Maya, who was assigned female at birth, using women’s bathrooms is tricky. “I have had people yell at me and say, ‘Get out. You shouldn’t be here.’” They do their best to avoid escalating confrontations, “I just leave. It’s kind of uncomfortable.”
15. For Cara, there have always been parts of her body that others have issues with. “I was never willing to change to make myself more palatable for others. I was made to feel shame for those things when I was younger, but I realized that I don't care what anyone else thinks. I'm hairy, I'm fat, I have a mixture of feminine and masculine features, and I'm beautiful.”
“Transformations”
Hannah Mittelstaedt
Falmouth University
United Kingdom
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